I think one of the things that can maybe hold people back from self-development, from becoming stronger, developing our strength and personal autonomy and authority, is that we all start life as babies.
Of course, we all begin in this helpless state where we are taken care of, hopefully, by someone else.
And that’s how we are introduced to life.
And then as we get older, we get this level of care is gradually reduced and reduced.
So we have to start feeding ourselves, and, you know, changing our own diapers, or the equivalent, you know, not using diapers, and you know, we have to you know start dressing ourselves, and whoa, then we have to start making money for ourselves and making full decisions for ourselves as adults, and then we are kind of at the place where we have to take care of ourselves.
For most adults, we just have to make these decisions for ourselves.
And that leaves almost like there’s a part of us that kind of misses what it was like to be a baby, because like, you know, you’re a baby, you’re like the king or the queen.
I mean, you know, your any need is attended to.
Yeah, you know, when I was young I felt like when I would be older, I would, you know, have more authority and freedom, because I got to choose for myself.
I wanted to choose for myself what to do.
But in a way, the baby has the authority, because everybody’s serving the baby.
You know, everybody’s just looking to please you.
Oh you’re crying? You’re unhappy? Let’s fix that.
You’re hungry? Let’s fix that.
Sleepy? Got to fix that.
Then you get older and it’s, well, “Oh, no, you’re misbehaving now.
You have to adjust your behaviour.
You can’t just do whatever you want.” But of course, you’re still being fed and clothed and housed, and you know, the activities of parents are hopefully very, you know, tailored to your needs.
So the child still is getting this kind of support and care.
So now as adults, we’re now expected to run our own lives.
But still there’s like- there seems like it’s almost like a part of us misses it.
You know, it’s like “Why can’t I still be a baby why can’t I just be passively here and, you know, everybody around me just loves me because of who I am.
I’m the baby, so of course everybody loves me, and everybody wants to take care of me, and I can always count on somebody to address my needs.” Now of course, all this is describing a well-cared-for baby, and there are certainly exceptions, babies that can have horrible conditions where they’re not well taken care of at all.
So this doesn’t apply to all babies.
But for most well-cared-for babies, there’s just that certain level of care that maybe we never get again.
So it’s almost like a temptation to not want to become stronger, to not want to have more authority, to just let ourselves be taken care of, to let ourselves be weak and passive and fall on the mercy of others to then do all the work to take care of us.
And you know, for some people they are forced out of this just by conditions that they simply have to take care of themselves, and they have nothing to fall back on.
And for others, though, it seems like if they have the opportunity to remain in this state of dependence, or maybe go back to it later, that there is a temptation to accept it.
So I wonder what this means and what we can do about it.
Maybe it’s just a part of all of us.
We all have this part of our personality that is a baby, because we started as babies, and we changed, but you know, it’s still kind of there in our background, part of who we are.
And maybe it’s just that part of us doesn’t want to grow up.
So I’m curious to hear how you feel about this, and whether you notice anything like this, and well, what can we do about it?
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