Sometimes there’s just kind of an empty feeling.
I get this feeling that there’s something missing, and life just feels like going through the motions.
There’s like a lack of feeling to it, and I’m like stuck on some kind of zombie autopilot, just continuing on, but it’s starting to feel this increasing grinding, the grinding of the gears, grinding of the wheels, until eventually it all just grinds to a halt, and I can’t continue, and a change has to be made.
So what’s behind this empty feeling? Possibly it connects to what I was saying about the idea of a dry mental construct, where you have an idea about you know, what we should be doing, who we are what our life is about, and it’s some kind of an abstract concept, that you know, “This is what I should do.
This is the kind of person that I am.
This is the kind of thing that I do.” And we can sort of hang ourselves on these ideas.
We can build our daily actions around this kind of concept.
But just like with any of these kind of abstract mental constructs, these ideas, if it’s only an idea, if it’s only a thought, it doesn’t have that emotional fuel.
It doesn’t have that feeling of life to it.
And I think for many people, this is a completely obvious thing.
You know, you need to have a kind of feeling.
That’s what drives actions.
And you know, not everybody is even maybe concerned with these kind of mental constructs.
But some people, myself included, can sometimes get too far into the outer space of the mind and sometimes lose the emotional centre, this kind of like feeling of actually supporting ideas with this kind of fuel of real feelings and real experience that is what gives us the energy to keep moving.
Whereas in the world of abstract concepts, this can give us great joy.
I find it’s wonderful.
But it only goes so far.
It’s like I can create a program, a plan for myself, of what is the correct thing to do, and it’s all worked out, beautifully designed, that this is my program.
“These are all the things I’m going to do today.
This is why I’m doing them.
This is what it’s all about.” But if it goes too far with this sort of construct of words and ideas, it can just start to feel hollow.
Where is the feeling in my day? You know, we can’t live like robots.
We need to have some kind of feelings, it seems, to be able to keep going.
Now the human mind, the human body, is very resilient.
We can handle all kinds of difficulties, but always for a limited time.
We can put ourselves through very difficult things, but only for so long.
We’ll always start to feel like things are drying out, starting to grind together and break down, if we don’t have some kind of more emotional, physical, animal level of feeling to add to the abstract idea that we’re working on.
So sometimes it seems like when there’s an empty feeling, when life feels somehow empty, like it’s missing something, it maybe means that we’re living too much in a world of words and ideas.
Too much of an abstract world that’s about logically connected thoughts that all sort of build together, all these logical connections and thoughts, building together into this whole wonderful system.
But it eventually can leave the simple, human, animal life behind and become this kind of tower of ideas which is missing this kind of simple emotional fuel, this kind of groundedness.
I wish I could find better ways to describe it.
But there’s something missing if we go too far into ideas, too far into abstract design for our lives, and we just need to bring it back to simple feelings and simple experience of life.
#empty #feelingempty #emotionless